Things I Am No Longer Allowed to do in an RPG

hreaper just added our campaign's "Not to do again"s in the 2001 Things I Am No Longer Allowed to do in an RPG.


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p.s. I'm the blue-eyed blonde half orc Paladin XD

LINK

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2972. There's no such thing as a LG blonde half-orc Paladin with blue eyes no matter what his back story is.

2973. Said half-orc Paladin do not have a huge fascination of blood and keep cutting himself in rituals for his deity to the point that the other party members start wondering how much pints of blood he has.

2974. When creating a spell that disarms an opponent by force of wind, said wind does NOT declothe them as well (they called it dispelling gust or wind).

2975. May NOT prestidigitate a deck of 52 playing cards and then imbue said cards with powerful spells thus enabling you to cast it 52 times (imbue spell does not and should not work like this!!!)

2976. IF 2973 and 2974 are ignored, may not prestidigitate a deck of 52 playing cards and then imbue them with dispelling gust of wind and then throw the deck into women's dressing rooms.

2977. Party members should keep an eye on the NE Hexblade to make sure he doesn't start raping any of the dying drows.

2978. When receiving a powerful flying battleship, make sure that the crazy CN Tinker does not dismantle the cannon.

2979. If the CN Tinker did not dismantle the canon, make sure he's pointing it at the right direction and no other party members are in the way when he fires it.

2980. Before firing the canon, the shooter MUST first warn the party members in the blast radius.

2981. Do not leave the CN Tinker alone with a bagful of explosives that he just recently made. Especially when you're in the BBEG's castle and he's off somewhere tossing the explosives around for fun.

2982. Never ask the CN Wild Mage to break the chains binding your hands. You may never know if she'll just call down a Meteor Shower to help you.

2983. If the Ninja happens upon a heated argument between party members, he may not knock out all the party involved (including the innocent bystander), toss them into their rooms and lock them in and say that it's the best solution to resolve the problems.

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Our DM just added more "Not to do again"s to the list:

LINK

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2984. Just because I am no spellcaster and some holy power worshiper, I am not allowed to insult and harass the only party Cleric and then tell him, "Heal me, okay?" at any time.

2985. This also includes during an intense overwhelming battle.

2986. The fact that he has the highest AC among everyone else in the party due to the full plate mail and spells does not mean I am able to do that in the first place.

2987. And because he's the only party healer, I am not allowed to toss him out and shutting the door close to let him confront a group of enemy archers behind wall slits all alone while everyone else is safe.

2988. And also because I know he just leveled up and gain new spells.

2989. I am not allowed to pee on an angel just because I do not believe in them.

2990. After carefully sneaking stealthily into the deep reaches of the enemy temple with the whole party, I shall not leave a note saying, "We're here."

2991. I am not allowed to find thugs in the city alleyways and beat them up just because I'm bored.

2992. And whine on how I am trying to rid the city of evil because of it after getting lock up in the city jail.

2993. I am not allowed to constantly ask anyone new I meet for a +1 Great sword.

2994. And for a +2 Great sword, after getting a +1 Great sword already.

2995. And for a +5 Great sword, after getting a +4 Great sword already.

2996. And for a +6 Psionic Great sword, after leveling up as a Psionic Warrior and getting a +5 Great sword.

2997. I am not allowed to disguise as a Drow, sneak into the lairs of the Drow temple, slaughtering half of the drows on the way, then telling them that I am here on a peaceful diplomatic meeting with their leader to inquire some information on a certain NPC.

2998. I am not allowed to throw shurikens at new NPCs whom I just meet together with the whole party.

2999. Nor when the whole party and NPCs could not understand each other at the moment.

3000. Nor when the whole party and NPCs are trying to communicate using non-hostile hand signals & body language to prevent any hostility.

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